Words versus Feelings

Having recently written a post about how compliments can have a really positive effect on a person, I now have the (kind of) opposite to write about.

Words, or sometimes even the lack of them, can make all the difference in how someone is feeling. I know it’s irrational, but when that same person who was complimenting you a couple of days ago suddenly stops replying to your messages with no explanation, you can’t help but wonder what you’ve done wrong. And unfortunately, especially for a person suffering from depression, that then leads to all kinds of negative thoughts and feelings.

Sometimes I really don’t understand people. People are weird, they do strange things for little or no reason, or really obscure ones. I’m not excluding myself from this statement. Quite frequently I don’t understand myself or my feelings or why I’m thinking what I’m thinking.

I find myself getting annoyed at what I’m thinking or how I’m feeling, because I don’t understand the hows or whys of it. If I can’t explain it to myself, how can I even begin to explain it to someone else?

I’ve managed so many years not having to rely on prescribed medication that I almost feel like I’ve given in to the depression by acknowledging that I need help and I can’t do it by myself anymore. I hate feeling like that. Even more than that, I hate the way even really small, insignificant actions/words/etc. from other people can change how I’m feeling so quickly and thoroughly. I feel like I have no control over my emotions anymore. I don’t like not having control. I think it scares me.

So now the question is, do I message this person again to try to find out why they’ve stopped contacting me and what I’ve done to piss them off, or do I leave it and just try to forget about them and move on?


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